The 10 BEST THINGS about Getting Gout

  • Posted by Bert Middleton
  • On January 3, 2020
  • 18 Comments

Most people don't know all the good things about getting gout.  If we keep it all in perspective, we can really look on the bright side and inspire ourselves to prevent gout if you keep the right mindset about it all.  Be sure to leave a comment at the bottom of the post about what you agree with most, OR, add what you like best about gout!

1-Best_Thing_About_Getting_Gout

#1

The first best thing about getting gout...

...is all the attention and sympathy you get.  People see you hobbling along, wincing and grimacing in pain and they just want to be take care of you.  Getting gout is one of the fastest ways to get your wife (or husband) to stop ragging on you and do all the chores you really didn't want to do anyway.  

2-Best_Thing_About_Getting_Gout

#2 

Another good thing about getting a gout attack is...

...how much time off work you get.  There is nothing better than calling your boss, and saying, "Boss...good news!  I'm having a gout attack and you don't have to see me today!"  Why would you want to go to work and sweat and slave and get all stressed out when you could be at home with your foot propped up, moaning and groaning with a gout attack? You see, gout is looking out for you.

Happy to Be Getting Gout

#3

The best thing about gout is when I...

...tell people I'm having a gout attack.  They start howling with laughter and call me "gout boy"!  I love making people laugh, especially when I'm in so much pain.  Somehow, it's sort like reverse psychology...humor is great therapy for gout.  

Laughing Hysterically About Getting Gout

Hey Bert, I love reading about all the knowledge you know; it’s pretty much changed my mind frame about things.  I don’t get gout all the time, it comes now and then, but your book is awesome! I’m a big fan! You are The Man!

Nifae

#4

Every time I start getting gout I get so...

...excited!  It is a like a total adventure!  It is a great test for my mental and physical endurance.  I used to do all kinds of crazy sports stuff like running marathons and going for grueling mountain bike rides - I would come back beaten and bloody and in SO much pain.  Now all I have to do is get a gout attack and I get all that pain and more...and I don't even have to leave the house!  Thank God For Gout!  

Gout Marathon

#5

Getting gout is like the first time I had...

...steak & lobster.  (ha! fooled you!)  I was hooked.  I knew that this was the good stuff and that if I could afford it, I would have it every night.  But if I had it every night, I would probably end up with gout.  Which I did.  If you do a true carnivoire diet, maybe you could get away with that...but long before that I had discovered milkshakes and all that sugar combined with all the protein (think purines) totally whacked out my insulin levels and which really messed up the way my one kidney is working.  Lucky for me I got gout...it's probably saved me from a heart attack.

Getting Gout - Steak & Lobster

#6

Some people liken gout to...

...a roller coaster ride!  A thrill a minute!  First you're up, then you're down. You never know if or when it's going to stop but the one thing you are sure of:  It's going to be great when it's over! 

Getting Gout is a Roller Coaster Ride

Now all I have to do is get a gout attack and I get all that pain and more...and I don't even have to leave the house!  Thank God For Gout!

Click to Tweet!

#7

If getting a gout attack were as satisfying as...

...jumping out of an airplane, I would get gout everyday!  Even better than a roller coaster ride!  Truly, gout is one of those kind of things that everyone should experience at least once in their lives.  Trying to explain what getting gout is like to someone who has never gotten it, is...well, like trying to tell someone who's never jumped out of an airplane how wonderful that is!  Try it!  You'll like it!  

How Do You Explain Getting Gout

#8 

Getting gout reminds me of the time...

...we hiked to the top of Mt. Shavano...damn near killed me.  But it was worth the climb!  Everytime I (used to) get over a gout attack, I (felt) feel the same - dodged that bullet!  Gout attacks, (as you know) can be a harrowing ordeal, but doesn't it make you feel like you cheated the devil when you kill one?!  I can totally relate!  

Gout Killer - Mt Shavano

#9

I never thought gout could be so much...

...FUN!  What do you do when you are in the middle of a smoldering gout attack?  WATCH COMEDIES!  It's great therapy for gout - you have to laugh off your gout attack.  You don't go to work, you lay on the couch, drink lot's of tea, and watch Lucille Ball and Trevor Noah and Amy Schumer and Chris Rock!  Ain't gout great?!  

Getting Gout is SO much fun

#10 

The last best thing about getting gout is when...

...the pain finally stops.  It is so satisfying, it makes you want to have another gout attack right away!  It's like cigarettes - it's SO satisfying and SO addictive!  

Kill Your Gout FOR GOOD

Bottom-line:  What is the best thing you like the most about getting gout?!

SHARE THE LOVE!

☆☆☆

 

18 Comments

Al Henness
There aren’t too many things I can say I like about gout because of the pain it causes, sometimes bringing me to tears. Before I had a dehydration episode while in Italy in 2012 for my granddaughter’s high school graduation, I averaged a gout attack maybe 2-3 times a year, eating almost anything I wanted, within reason. I was first diagnosed as having gout while stationed in Korea in 1982. After that dehydration episode, it seems there is not a day that goes by that I don’t have a good flare up, regardless of what I eat or drink. But I guess if I had to pinpoint one thing I like about gout, it would be to say, the pain reminds me that I’m still alive, at least for now.
    Bert Middleton
    I hear you Al - my spoof on this was only to say, the pain of gout has caused lots of people to take their health more seriously. It's a shame that we all have to learn the hard way! Thanks!
RICHARDBORKOWSKI
My neighbor had 4 pounds of shrimp (yikes) and a case of beer. That night, well, you know what happened. After taking the meds and feeling better, he had a few beers the next day. Bad move.
    Bert Middleton
    YOWZA! Bad move indeed! Perfect example of what NOT to do if you want to avoid gout! Thanks Richard!
shirley dutra
I find nothing funny about getting a gout attack. When I feel the first twinge I run for the Tart Cherry juice, soak my feet in vinegar and epsom salrs and hope it does not get worse.I suffered my first and only attack back in 2015, and suffered for about 5 months off and on when nothing the doctors did helped, it was only when I took it into my own hands and started eating healthy and exercising that I got over it and have been able to maintain since then with no further attacks.
    Bert Middleton
    Yes, no, nothing funny about it - but it sounds like you owe your current healthy life to gout though Shirley! Good Job!
Nick
There is nothing funny about gout but there is some justice in having a "coach" like you Bert. Keep up the good [outstanding] work
    Bert Middleton
    I wouldn't call myself a coach Nick, "cheerleader" is the better description! Cheering you on in your efforts to KILL that gout! GO BIG! Thanks!
Ruth
Gout makes me appreciate every moment I am not having a gout attack. I gave birth twice with no painkillers and I am here to tell you that I would have TEN unmedicated births to ward off one gout attack. Gout is worse than labor. Gout has improved my diet, no kidding. I used to be a diet Coke addict. I traded it for sparkling mineral water and I drink that stuff by the liter!
    Bert Middleton
    Great way to say it all Ruth! In some weird left-handed way, gout is making healthier, stronger people out of us! Thank you for leaving the comment!
Larry
Bert, people talk about exercise and gout - my question is how do you exercise when your feet feel like they are on fire? I was walking on a treadmill each day untill I had a gout attack. Seems like every time I get gout is after a few week of regular exercise. First I get gout in one knee than the other on to the toes. The toes pain never seems to go away fully. Could I have something other than gout? Thanks for any help in advance Larry
    Bert Middleton
    I don't know if you have something else or not Larry. A theory I've always had is that we all might have more than one kind or form of arthritis going on besides gout. Did you see my post about "Crystal-induced Arthritis"? But something I've noticed over all the years is that joints that have been overworked or damaged or injured, seem to be the ones that are more susceptible to getting gout. The ligaments and tendons and connective tissues are weakened and the crystals have more of a chance of crystallizing there...I think. Like I said, it's just a theory. What has been working for me in a big way qigong. It really isn't as much about the physical-ness of it as it is the internal art of moving the chi or energy around. Pretty woo woo, huh? Do a search on this guy, Bruce Frantzis. Thanks!
linda H haakenson
I have found nothing laughable about gout. I did start paying attention to my overall health and for that I am grateful.
    Bert Middleton
    Thanks Linda and thanks for commenting again! Yup...nothing laughable, but grateful for the wake up call and the ability to make the changes. If we somehow find some appreciation for gout, we can turn lemons into very alkalizing lemonade!
Nick
What's with the gallows humour?
    Bert Middleton
    haha! You like that, huh?! A lot of that was from back in the day when I was working hard to "entertain through the pain" - just part of the evolution! It's all about the KILLER instinct when it comes to gout!
Wanda Gibson
Right now I feel like gout has ruined my life. I just started taking Alluprinol in hopes that this will help. I have changed my diet and been depressed ever since. I am a great cook and really enjoyed food, now I am limited to virtually eating nothing. I am holding on by a thread.
    Bert Middleton
    I'm sure there is more at play Wanda. My recommendation is to find a good naturopath or nutritionist that you can work with directly and in person. The biochemistry of human beings is very complicated but the upside is that the human organism is incredibly durable and resilient. With some testing, monitoring, and some trial and error, I'm sure you can be back on track. Depending one what the explorations and discovery might find, there may be really healthy foods that you are eating that are not healthy for you...at least right now. Your body and biochemistry may have changed (has definitely changed) to the point that you have to make changes - i.e. adjust and adapt. If I can do it, you can do it. Lastly, allopurinol is tricky - please read this post: https://www.thegoutkiller.com/gout-treatment/gout-medication/allopurinol/

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